LIMITING BELIEFS

When you keep thinking that you can't do something for whatever reasons you have, that's a limiting belief. 

When you're about to do something, you keep thinking of ways not to do it. That's also a limiting belief. 

So what is then a limiting belief? 

Asana defines limiting belief as a belief you set yourself to not do anything. 

For years, I have constantly struggled to get rid of the thought that I'm not good at doing things. Even starting this blog has kept me awake and preoccupied because the moment I touch the keys, thoughts keep on creeping in. 

I even deliberately self-sabotage myself by binge-watching so I can tell myself that I cannot do it because I'm still watching TV. At some point, it provided "a sense of comfort" because of my twisted way of justifying my shortcomings. 

Spiraling down at an alarming rate

A scary thing about limiting beliefs is that it drags you down. It makes you look at some things negatively. You feel bitter about almost everything and want to see failure for others so all of you would be in the same boat. 

Pretty lame, right? But that's what limiting belief does. It transforms you into someone whom you are not. You become a hater of success because it makes you see what you cannot accomplish. 

And worst, you infect others with negative thoughts, not realizing what you have become. To put it this way, you have become your own worst enemy. 

And without someone telling you that "you're out of control, " getting out would be difficult because your actions deceive you. You start to think that you're doing okay and there's nothing wrong with it. 

And most of the time, you resist change because the deception runs deep down to your core. We have been hearing about limiting beliefs, but looking at them from a whole new perspective would help us identify them and take action so they won't make us the person we don't want to become. 

Bouncing back from adversity

Getting back and moving right on track can be a challenge. When you're used to a routine, unlearning it is tricky. Unless you have someone who's not buying your BS and wants nothing but to see you succeed and get happy. 

So how do you get back? You need to admit you're having a problem and you are the problem. Self-denial would only make things worse. Admitting you need help is one step closer to getting your life back on track. 

It's not rocket science that understanding what causing the problem is the first step toward recovery. But sadly, some continue to stick to a condition they feel comfortable. Once they don't get the expected results, they revert to that state and continue the toxicity toward themselves and others. 

And this will become a never-ending vicious cycle of obnoxious behavior that leads to unhappiness. I'm sure you abhor leading this kind of life. To steer you out of your limiting beliefs, follow these steps and lead a happier existence because you deserve it.

Identify your limiting beliefs  - According to Socrates, "Know thyself". Logically, you need to examine everything about yourself. What are the things that make you happy, or the things that make you sad, or what ticks you off? Understanding these things would help you develop an action plan to help you adjust, adapt, and act accordingly. 

For example, you want to learn how to cook. But the memory of the last time you cooked lingers in your memory because the entire house smelled like burnt rubber. You remember how everyone got so disgusted, and scoffed into your face to "get the hell out". 

So each time you tried donning the apron, that bitter affair flashed out and left you freezing out cold and sweating. And fast forward, you hate going to the kitchen and get contented with ordering from a fast food. 

Rather than allowing yourself to be consumed by that traumatic experience, recall what led to that unfortunate event and analyze what went wrong. 

Start practicing and do not let yourself get distracted by anything like your mobile phone because it may be the reason things didn't work out right.  

After some time, you'll notice you're getting better at it. And the mistake that made you miserable would serve as a lesson, so you'll be more attentive to the task you're doing.

Wake up and realize it's all on your mind. The thing with limiting beliefs is it's in your head. Sometimes, it is something you've invented and believe to be true. 

It may even be the experience of someone you thought to be an expert, and since that person is an expert based on your criteria. You generalize everything they say and apply it to yourself without even trying it first. 

And you end up scared of something you thought to be scary. It inhibits your self-development and wastes the opportunity to become the better version of yourself. Remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Challenge your excuses. It doesn't need an explanation. When you hear yourself saying "You can't do it, ", ask yourself, "Why can't I do it?". If you can't give a suitable answer, it's just an excuse. Period. 

Sometimes the phrase "I'm busy, I've a lot to do" is an excuse not to do things you love. When you're already comfortable with where you are now, you are no longer motivated to try new things. It's just it is. Because comfort kills motivation. 

The next time you hear telling yourself, "Don't do it!", asses if you truly could not do it, or you don't want to do it. There's a mile of difference between could and want. 

Adopting a new mindset. When your old way of thinking no longer applies to the person you want to become, it's time to adopt a new way of doing things. If you continue sticking with your old mindset, you'll end up doing the old things that are holding you back. 

For example, when you're little, you almost drown. That's why you hate swimming. Now you've grown a couple of inches and could step comfortably without getting drowned.

Sadly, each time you reach that part where you almost drown, you freeze and get jittery. I know it's hard to get rid of that memory because both I and my son experienced that kind of trauma. 

But thankfully, we both conquered the fear of drowning and now enjoy swimming in deep waters. You just need to face your fear and conquer it by overcoming it. There's no other way. 

Practice your newfound ability often. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect. To become an expert at something, you need to do it frequently. The feeling of doing something once is a great morale-booster, but to become adept at it, you have to do it every single time. 

In conclusion, limiting beliefs can hinder us from reaching our true potential. It even makes us the person we hate becoming. To get rid of things that make us bitter is acknowledging that there is a problem and analyzing what makes it a problem. 

Toning down our egos can help us see clearer and improve more easily. I understand that there will always be resistance coming from ourselves because unlearning something we have been doing for a long time is uncomfortable. 

But as they say, when you start to be uncomfortable, that's where your growth starts. I wish you all the best and hopefully, in the future, we can both share a cup of coffee and talk about things that make life interesting.

So long, Ciao!

Familiarity breeds contempt tread carefully.

In 1624, an Englishman John Donne (1572-1631) wrote this iconic line "No man is an island" and it became synonymous with unity, brotherhood, and friendship. The impact of such work became an iconic symbol of camaraderie because it speaks of being in harmony with others. 

And it is not surprising because most of us love to be surrounded by people who give meaning and joy to our lives. When I'm happy, I would love to share it with people within my circle because it's just how it is. 

A lazy Sunday afternoon is excellent for a cookout with friends and families. You can just imagine the laughter and the overwhelming array of food that would make everyone fill to the brim. 

It's nice to be with my friends and spend the entire afternoon over a smoky grill cooking a nicely glazed barbecue with some cold drinks.

Careful with how you open your mouth

While all of you are enjoying a nice meal listening to great music and just letting the day slide away, out of nowhere one of your friends shouts at someone within the crowd "Hey jackass, could you show us that trick you did last time!".

Then out of the blue, the other guy shouts back "Who you calling a jackass, you moron!". And all hell wreaks havoc on that quiet, peaceful, and supposed to be happy afternoon delight because of one uncalled-for name-calling. 

Isn't it awful? 

Everyone was shocked and could not believe how the events unfolded. "What the heck just happened?". A while ago there were rainbows and butterflies, the next minute, all hell went loose! 

It is something common between families and friends. But why? Because too much familiarity breeds contempt! 

Have you noticed, because we are very comfortable with each other's presence that sometimes we no longer exercise vigilance with how we speak to them.

And when they react and get offended, we shrug it off like it's no big deal and tell them straight into their faces "What's the matter with you, you're so overly sensitive!"

Are they sensitive? Or we're just plain careless? Causing pain to others is never a good thing. There is so much strife in the world today and to cause things that make someone upset only adds up to a relationship being torn apart. 

The golden rule

Way back when I was younger. There was a declamation piece that I needed to memorize. When I arrived at that point where it says: "Do unto others as what you want others to do unto you" I was quite intrigued as to why such phrases exist.

My grade school teacher reiterates every now and then when fights break up between us pupils because we're so rowdy and restless (the good old days) and someone goes to our teacher sobbing. 

Everyone, including me, stands for almost an hour and listens to lectures about not doing things that upset people. We glance at each other and try not to grin because it would be another hour of sermon. 

Then it would come to that point where we're asked to say sorry and all of us (the usual suspects) would comply because it means we can sit our butts down and often ask to be allowed to have bathroom breaks and that's where we laugh hard. 

Fast forward to now, I can't help but chuckle at those misdeeds way back but I now understand how irresponsible and reckless I was back then. 

I admit, that I regret that I am in some way a part of the pain that my fellow student felt because I don't have the awareness like what I have now. 

So how is the golden rule related to the title? 

You see because of too much familiarity with others we sometimes overlook boundaries. There are things we do, or words we say that we think are just okay but are hurtful to someone's feelings. 

A lot of times, our jokes are half-meant. We sometimes delve between the gray areas and wish everything will turn out okay. But sadly, it's not.

So I developed this technique for myself when I'm on the verge of doing something that might put someone else in an awkward position, I restrain myself, breathe in and out for 2-5 minutes, and forget about it.

There are things you can forgo and not damage anything. 

You can choose kindness over bravado. You can choose to care rather than stir trouble. You can make someone else load lighter rather than make the person feel bad because of insensitivity. 

There are just a ton of things you can do to make this world a better place. 

The 4-way test

While passing the street, I saw The Rotary Club's "The 4-way test". It says: 

• Is it the TRUTH?
• Is it FAIR to all concerned?
• Will it build GOODWILL AND BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
• Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

I am not a member of the Rotarians but what they say makes sense. 

Praise underserved is slander in disguise. You can get away with flattery sometimes but people notice if what you're saying is true. That is why you need to be honest in your dealings with others. 

But what if the truth would destroy someone? If you are not ready to face the consequences of being truthful, as they say, "it's better to be silent and be thought a fool, rather than open one's mouth and erase all doubt."

As you see now, with just a swipe of a screen or click of a button you can spread either truth or lies in a flash. It's advisable to practice restraint rather than making drastic movements so you'll not find yourself in sticky situations.

Remember we're in different circumstances. We should refrain from making false assumptions against anyone because there are a lot of angles we do not see by glancing at a scenario once. 

Our senses can deceive us. How many times have you thought you were right but actually you're not? And if you have made an error how often do you apologize and promise not to do it again? Once, or you didn't bother to say sorry!

So before making bold moves in doing something that might hurt someone and damage a relationship, practice the 4-way test of the Rotary Club. 

I hope you find value in this article. So long! Ciao!

Making the best out of the worst

In a perfect world, most people love to have a happy ending. Many of us strive hard to find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. We spend a quarter of our lifetime getting into school, hoping to find our fortune and get the life we aspired for.

We were made to fit into that routine. Our mindset was focused on getting our college diploma because we believe it is our ticket to success. 

Then, with some sick twist of fate, everything doesn't seem to fall into place. And you're left wondering, “Where did I go wrong?”

Why things don't go our way

I admit, that I like to be in control of things. I thrive poorly in unplanned and uncontrolled environments and situations. Likewise, I feel extremely awkward when things suddenly “get out of hand”. 

I don't like the idea of “come what may” either.

Four decades of existence taught me that life gets interesting and colorful when you're not in control and surrounded by so many uncertainties. 

And you're forced to adapt because that's the way to go. Then you wonder, after many days and nights of planning, things didn't go as planned. Why is it so? 

We can think of many reasons why things didn't go as planned.  One reason is that we can't control certain situations. 

For example, you prepared for months camping in the woods, and then a storm came with a heavy downpour that ruined your campsite and everyone else's mood. 

Another situation would be you've booked a dinner with your partner at some fancy place. You've been making a great effort at everything to make it super special. 

Then at the last second when you're supposed to do the most climatic part of the evening, there's an abrupt change in the situation. The bomb squad suddenly appeared from nowhere, telling everyone to storm out of the place because of a bomb scare!

There was pushing everywhere, and everyone was trying to get out of the place as fast as they could. And the following day, the authorities confirmed it was just a prank call by some punk who was grounded because of some misdemeanor at school. 

And while watching the early morning news, you were fuming mad because of some insensitive prank that ruined the one moment you've been dying to do for some time. 

“I swear, I'll choke the crap out of that nut crack!” while calling your partner and telling her of last night's accounts. Because you're so distracted, you burn your tongue while sipping your coffee over the early morning news. 

And your entire day is ruined because of those things you don't have any control over.

Coping when things don't go your way

It's always heart-breaking when you exert effort in making things go your way and the opposite happens. I get overly frustrated, and it affects everything that I do. But as they say, the show must go on. 

Dr. Meghan Marcum has some practical advice on your course of action when things don't go your way.

• Understanding what triggers you that makes you upset. Dr. Marcum stressed the importance of accepting what makes you angry so you can deal with it with grace and poise. 
• Assessment of your reactions. It is easy to understand that getting upset or frustrated can get you out of sync fast. Dr. Marcum advised us to be flexible rather than stiff with our desired outcomes. But it's okay to be upset. 
• Focus on your solutions. Cope with changes by focusing on solutions. There's no way you can change what happens, but you can control your solutions to lessen the impact of the blow. I guess, that's just how life is. It's full of surprises. 
• Refrain from looking at perfection. I know that people expect nothing less than perfect. But, the thing is, it's seldom you end up with something perfect. Dr. Marcum encourages us to expect realistic outcomes. Remember, done is better than perfect.
• Get help. You don't have to fight it alone. The extra hands can help you get through. Don't push people away because, for all you know, they love to see you win and succeed. 
• Be ready to change the plan if needed. As cliché as it is, it's true, “there are many ways to skin a cat”. If one thing doesn't work out, do not focus on it, but instead, try to innovate or seek the alternatives, and you'll see that it's not that bad after all. 

I'm certain you have a lot of things to add, but I need to remind you that resorting to blaming or even indulging in substance abuse won't turn the bad into good. 

To sum everything up. Be flexible and get ready for any changes. Because in life, change is the only permanent thing. Ciao!

Weathering The Storm

Resilience is one key value you need to have to thrive and continue your life journey, despite the many hurdles you'll face as you continue to move forward with your daily grind. 

As you climb the success ladder, you'll notice that everything becomes difficult. Most people you'll hear about bracing yourself in facing the challenges would tell you, “It's not going to be easy!” 

It is what it is. The discomfort individuals experience when they venture beyond their comfort zones indicates that something greater is awaiting them on the other side. 

Remember the times you were learning to ride your bike? You were bruising yourself so many times, the feeling of finding yourself riding it without anyone holding you is priceless. 

And looking back, you could only smile and pat yourself, “It's all worth it”. Because it surely does!

Finding the courage to stay on track

When things get all messy, it's easy to get lost and meander. I stumbled across an article by Psych Central that you'll find helpful if you're overwhelmed with things in life.

Finding out your why can help you refocus and give clarity on things you need to restart your journey. Finding yourself wandering because so many things pile up on your plate can be confusing and scary.  

And just like that, you'll have a handful of things that need your attention. When stress catches up with you. Stress builds up from the many things you need to do. But you could not do so.

Have you wondered why people succumb to thoughts of quitting when things get tough? Because quitting in itself brings pleasure. When you feel your back is against the wall, tapping out is a convenient way to stop everything. 

Did you experience, after your firm decision to quit and let everything go, the thought of “what ifs” reverberates in your mind?

The pleasure you once felt is now overshadowed by regret. And you are now haunted by the thought that everything could have been different if you pushed harder and stayed on course.

Stop crying over spilled milk

It sucks, period. 

When you're on the verge of getting something right, and bail out cold, you know you messed up. So what would you do? According to Herald-Advocate, clean up your mess, pick yourself up, and move forward. 

Learn from it! Because no matter how hard you slip the punches, the stinging blows you didn't see can get to you and knock all the sense out of you. 

But the show has to go on. That's why you convince yourself to get up, weather the storm, and punch back at life's challenges even harder. Because that's the only way to move forward and get on with everything. Stop crying over spilled milk. 

Picking yourself up after a hard fall

We become stronger after each fall. The struggle you're in right now is part of your success story. In baseball, they have something they call the batting average. It means that every home run that the fans jeer so wildly is a product of several missed swings a batter performs. 

The lesson is, that you won't hit anything significant if you don't try hitting it.

And it's true with life. To find out if you could do it is to simply “just do it”. Just like the tagline of a popular footwear says.

You don't have to fear doing the uncomfortable. Most successful people in our time did not go with the flow. They trusted their grit and their unlimited supply of courage. 

Life can be like the weather. You may see sunshine and butterflies today. The next day, a category 5 storm is pounding you into submission. There's no way of stopping it, but you can brace yourself so you won't fall hard. 

And weathering the storm is all you need to do so you can fight back when things don't come your way. 

Hope you got something valuable from reading a piece of my mind. Got to sip some coffee. Ciao!

When it seems you don't see a speck of light at the end of tunnel

Every one of us, at some point, clings to something. It could be a physical object, like your favorite toy, a huggable old pillow, or a memory you strive to keep for a long time. 

It is something we hold dear, and losing it would leave us feeling empty and crushed. Being vulnerable lets us realize we don't have to fight our battles alone. 

A healthy support system is an excellent way of going through stages in our lives that are difficult and extremely challenging.

Everything is so against you. What's next?

When we face adversity, we usually seek a source of strength to help us bounce back. Sometimes, we end up finding what we never expected or hoped for. 

A classic example is experiencing an event in our lives that leads us to think it's the break we have prayed for, but only to realize it's what makes our ordeal more difficult than it was before. 

It makes us more frustrated with how things turn out. And not having a firm grasp on our personal resolve would shake our self-belief to its very core. The sad part, we find it hard to fathom why we struggle so much when we just want to make things better.

We overthink a lot of things, leading to impaired judgment on our part. We now struggle with things we typically do easily. Is it because we are getting dull and we're slipping a lot? Or is it because we over-complicate things, and not realizing that the simpler things work?

At some point, I have been a victim of this predicament. I wrote about this topic because of a past emotional, ominous experience. 

I strive hard every day not to return to that state. The feeling of not seeing any tint of light at the end of the tunnel was such a gloomy yesteryear, and things can get extremely messy at any rate if you can't bounce back from that emotional turmoil.

Why it seems there's no light at the end of the tunnel?

When all hope is gone, the will to fight and stand firm on your ground will go with it. It's not that there's no light, it is because we decide not to see it.

Imagine pricking your finger with a small thorn. Your first reaction is to get your hands off instantly and remove any object that's stinging the heck in your finger. 

But despite your best efforts to remove the source of your discomfort, that darn thorn remains buried deep in your skin, causing minor irritation. So you resort to just ignoring it until your finger gets used to the pain and tolerates the painful ordeal.

Your false sense of comfort deceives your ability to judge because it leads you to think that it's just a small thing, no biggie! Your continued pretension that everything is alright makes you think everything is under control. 

And that's where you are fatally mistaken!

The problem with ignoring things is that it makes you feel like it's going to go away and never come back. 

But just when you think everything seems fine, your concern resurfaces. And it now comes along with other issues that resulted from ignoring a pesky minor discomfort. 

Not only that, you start to be frustrated at yourself for not addressing it right away when you have the chance. 

Returning to our example, the thorn that was buried in your skin causing your discomfort got infected.

It stayed there for a while, and when it turned into a full-blown infection, from a minor discomfort, it turned so excruciating and painful that it now prevents you from doing things you normally do effortlessly. 

You now have a fever because it got red, swollen, and infected. And rather than addressing that little thorny concern of yours, you now have bigger issues to face, which is how to bring the fever down. 

If you just removed it when it stuck on your finger, you wouldn't have to bear the pain you're feeling now. 

So why there's no light at the end of the tunnel? Because you choose to ignore it by closing your eyes and pretending it's not there. If you just focus your sight on the brief flicker ahead, you could have reached that bright spot where the tunnel's exit is just a step away. 

The frustration you feel would add more fuel, and you entertain the idea of just quitting and succumbing to any negative thoughts and feelings that come your way. 

And worse, people who are witnessing your pain and want to extend their hands so you can grab onto them, you drive them away because you want to operate as a one-man army and fight alone undisturbed.

 The sad thing about getting frustrated

When you don't get the results you badly desire, your frustration creeps in. 

The greater the expectation, the greater the frustration if things don't come one's way. 

And sadly, it leads you to be overly upset, and it crushes your confidence. Your frustration lingers in your system longer, and this makes you insecure about everything. 

Not managing your frustration well results in you getting easily upset with almost anything. 

You also become highly irritable over little things. Your stress management ability becomes questionable, leading you to a downward spiral of emotional turmoil.

But it's not really an absolute bad when you get frustrated about failing to hit your goals. 

It's a telltale sign that you're a normal human being like everyone else. 

But you've got to be wary because if you don't see frustration's claws grasping you by the neck, you'll find yourself in some oddly dark place where crawling out could pose a serious challenge.

Stop believing that you're done

It takes a strong moral resolve to crawl out and leave the dark realms of frustration. When you feel that you've had enough, you lose the will to fight. Reaching out to someone and letting them know of your vulnerability can be quite helpful.

You need to accept and realize that life isn't a bed of roses. You'll fail, and you'll get a lot of heartaches. It's easy to be overwhelmed when you feel you swam with all your might, and you're not reaching the shore because you feel you're not budging an inch.

Anything you find at this stage becomes a shiny object because you're super desperate to hold on to something. A lot of times, people during this dark period will cling to something or someone that would help them feel good. 

And that's where people who stick with you through thick and thin level the field. For goodness' sake, stop driving them away. People who want you to succeed get upset when they see you diving head straight towards self-destruction.

That's what happens when you're lurking in the dark for some time. It's easy to misinterpret their concern with being nosy and stuff. Put it this way: you don't want to see someone dear to you do things that will sabotage their dreams and potential. 

Because that's what love is. The ability of a person to endure hearing nasty remarks from people they hold so close is a remarkable feat for anyone. If that ain't love, then I don't know what that is. 

You may think you're done, but the people who believe in you refuse to accept that and would fight tooth and nail just to make you see you're not seeing things clearly. And the least you can do is to be grateful and help yourself get back up and running.

I hope this helps shed light on you. It would be wonderful to read your thoughts about the things you've read on my blog. My coffee is getting cold. I have to take a sip before it becomes unbearable. So long! Ciao.

Motivation good: Habits better!

When I was young and wanted to do something, I looked for motivation. Things that would give me the extra kick to help me march forward. When things don't go your way, it's easy to stop, so I often resort to finding things that motivate me.

The easier part is finding something that gets you going. Sustaining it is the more challenging side. There are a lot of times we wake up flowing with limitless energy, only to lose all of it the next day.

Looking for a more sustainable approach to help us get through our “downtimes” is a more promising way of allowing us to be more productive, rather than finding what makes us “tick” and become a ball of energy that bounces around.

But how? 

How frequently do we experience downtimes? 

When things don't go as planned, it's easy to just drop it and get cold turkey towards it. Many of us don't want to find ourselves unaccomplished. But looking at it now, I realized why I was unproductive because I unconsciously chose to. 

Way back, there are things I wish I knew now. I was headstrong, stubborn, and downright risk-taker. It often leads me to uncomfortable situations that made life “more colorful” as I am looking at it now. 

“Damn if you do, and damn if you don't,” those were the days when I stormed towards my goal full of life and zest, only to retract when I couldn't overcome the hurdles. 

To help me get through, I find things that motivate me. I get supercharged for some time, and then things get rough. I stop at my charge, leave the tracks, and turn my back on a thing that I was so enthusiastic about earlier. 

Making matters worse, it slowly became my way of doing things that unconsciously integrated into my person. After some time, I came to realize that experiencing a spurt or even a series of downtimes is inevitable.

Yes, there is no pattern you can remember when you're about to experience downtime, but it happens because you have overworked and overextended yourself, and you end up exhausted and unmotivated. Leading to tantrums and occasional fits of anger that taint harmonious relationships. 

So how frequently do we experience downtime? All the time, always!

Why build habits?

During periods of downtime and meltdowns, motivation won't be enough. This is where habits get you going, even if it means striding in baby steps. Little consistent movements are way better than not moving at all.

The million-dollar question would be, what habits are you going to build? Is it something taken from a masterclass? Would it be easy to follow and execute? 

No need to think of highly technical habits. Any habits that would allow you to move forward at a constant pace, no matter how small the steps may be, would do. 

For example, you go to bed early, so you can wake up early as well. Will there be any benefit to that? 

Certainly, sleeping early would mean you would also wake up the following day early. Doing so would make you more productive because you'll have a ton of time ahead of you, allowing you to execute all your plans to a tee. 

And if you sleep early, you're doing your body a favor. Because you'll have all the time, you'll need to make sure your body and mind need for recovery. You'll repair all the “fried” cells in your brain when you doze to an 8-hour uninterrupted slumber. 

Another habit that will help you become more productive is breaking tasks into smaller chunks. It's easy to get overwhelmed by a gigantic workload that flashes right into your eyes. 

When you're at school or at the office, looking at all the A.S.A.P. would drain you of your energy. It saps the life out of you. And when you think that you'd finally relax at home, the opposite happens because you are arguing with someone over a ridiculous coffee cup that wasn't washed and left on the counter.

And if you look at it, you're not really furious about the unwashed coffee cup. You are unconsciously venting out all of your frustration because you're already very exhausted for the day. You saw an opportunity to let it go and in that instance you just found yourself enraged over a small matter. 

I'm guilty of it so many times that I frequently hear myself apologizing because I didn't plan to end it that way. Another habit you can develop is to be sorry for things you have done that hurt someone. 

Sorry seems to be the hardest word. I heard that line in a song, and it brought painful memories that haunted me always.  

Not being sorry when you have done something wrong is a sign of immaturity and insecurity. With our sudden emotional outbursts, there are just moments when we unintentionally hurt others because we're aggressive with our approach.

The immense amount of stress we have been carrying for who knows how long builds up and it ushers us unconsciously to react unfavorably towards others. Most often, when this happens, others see this as an invitation for an all-out "word war". 

The altercation causes division, and later angst towards you. The harmonious relationship you have built for so long has now shattered because you're not too careful with your dealings with others. 

Apologizing may not heal emotional wounds and scars instantly, but it's a great way to restart and rebuild any collateral damage that was done because you succumbed to excessive stress that resulted in a lot of unwanted and untoward incidents. 

To ensure that you are in control of everything and not spiral out of control, build positive habits and diligently practice it daily so it will become your way of life. Start with habits that would make you productive, like staying away from procrastination. 

Whatever it is you can finish in a day, do it right away with all of your might. You may no longer have the opportunity if you delay it often. 

So if you broke someone emotionally, even if it's difficult, mend it at the earliest time possible. You don't want years of unhappy memories and tension-filled co-existence because you delayed apologizing for causing any inconveniences for not managing your stress properly.

I'm sure you can find a ton of resources to help you with your journey. Remember to take small and doable steps so you'll not end up frustrated about not accomplishing things you have set for yourself. 

It's coffee time for me and I hope I can share this glorious moment of sipping this bitter-tasting beverage while we watch around and talk about things that make the world round. Ciao!